When I was younger I loved listening to classic radio icon Paul Harvey. My favorite part was when he would return after the commercial break and say in his idiosyncratic way, "And now . . . the rest of the story." Well, I'm no Paul Harvey, but here is "The rest of the story."
In my initial post I talked about my funk of recent. There's more to it than what I have written so far; for the sake of brevity, I oversimplified the issues. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am a first-born and a textbook one at that: people-pleaser, performance-driven, detail- oriented, process-thinker, box-checker . . . you get the idea. I like to say I am organized and thorough, my husband just says I'm anal-retentive (with great love, of course). I can get the job done and do it well. Two ways I see this manifested in my life...
First, I love formulas. Let me explain. In college I wanted to make A's so I got it down to a formula. Basically, study X number of hours + show up at the professor's office hours enough so that s/he would get to know me a little (I attended the University of Texas and there were 16,ooo freshman in my class.) + write really long papers = A. When I decided to train for my first, and so far only, marathon it was all a formula. Run X number of miles for X number of months + eat tons of protein and healthy food + hydrate like crazy = marathon. I can reduce just about anything to a formula.
Second, I adore projects. I love when they have a well-defined time frame and a nice end product to admire: a painted room, a finished scrapbook, an organized garage, an event that went off perfectly. Oh, I get goosebumps just thinking about it!
Now these two things can be assets. I am seen - and see myself - as a very productive person who does things with excellence BUT here is where it falls apart: It doesn't work so well with people. People are never formulas or projects. God is patiently and gently showing me that although I may excel in the aforementioned areas, I am not so good in the people area. He has also reminded me that only three things last forever: Himself, his Word and the souls of men. I want to value those things He values - and I don't think in Heaven he values clean closets and report cards full of A's nearly as much as loving His people.
Unfortunately, the place this is painfully evident is in my parenting. More on that in my next post.
In my initial post I talked about my funk of recent. There's more to it than what I have written so far; for the sake of brevity, I oversimplified the issues. Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am a first-born and a textbook one at that: people-pleaser, performance-driven, detail- oriented, process-thinker, box-checker . . . you get the idea. I like to say I am organized and thorough, my husband just says I'm anal-retentive (with great love, of course). I can get the job done and do it well. Two ways I see this manifested in my life...
First, I love formulas. Let me explain. In college I wanted to make A's so I got it down to a formula. Basically, study X number of hours + show up at the professor's office hours enough so that s/he would get to know me a little (I attended the University of Texas and there were 16,ooo freshman in my class.) + write really long papers = A. When I decided to train for my first, and so far only, marathon it was all a formula. Run X number of miles for X number of months + eat tons of protein and healthy food + hydrate like crazy = marathon. I can reduce just about anything to a formula.
Second, I adore projects. I love when they have a well-defined time frame and a nice end product to admire: a painted room, a finished scrapbook, an organized garage, an event that went off perfectly. Oh, I get goosebumps just thinking about it!
Now these two things can be assets. I am seen - and see myself - as a very productive person who does things with excellence BUT here is where it falls apart: It doesn't work so well with people. People are never formulas or projects. God is patiently and gently showing me that although I may excel in the aforementioned areas, I am not so good in the people area. He has also reminded me that only three things last forever: Himself, his Word and the souls of men. I want to value those things He values - and I don't think in Heaven he values clean closets and report cards full of A's nearly as much as loving His people.
Unfortunately, the place this is painfully evident is in my parenting. More on that in my next post.
3 comments:
I thought about you this morning as I was planning my week of running and how much I relate to this idea of letting "life" get in the way of things we want to do. Thanks for your willingness to share this struggle and the people struggle. I am such a formula type person myself! And God is also growing me in this area! So I look forward to reading your blogs and nodding my head in agreement and praying through all of this.
Enjoying your blog! Look forward to reading more.
blessings, Beckie
"People are never formulas or projects."
As a fellow lover of organization, this statement really hit home.
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